BIKER BABES scenes

Beginning:

Lainie is stuck, listless. Her friend Jo comes by and talks her into a bike trip.

Lainie is [half-heartedly doing some mindless activity]. She hears the roar of an engine outside, quiet at first, then revved loudly, twice, then cut. She touches her hand to her forehead, as if to say “Oh crap.” A screen door slams.

LAINIE: Jo! What are you doing here?
JO, 40s, appears in the room.
JO: How’d you know it was me?
LAINIE: You’re the only friend I have who just walks right in without knocking. JO: I heard about Andy. I’m sorry.
LAINIE: Thanks.
JO: You guys were like…you were the best couple I know. I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier, but…
.
.
Jo proposes a road trip to Northern California.
.
.
LAINIE: Jo, I’m not going with you. JO: Why not?
LAINIE: I’m tired. I’m just too tired. JO: You’re not tired, you’re just sad.
LAINIE: I’m tired. And yeah, I’m sad. I’m really fucking sad, and I’m not going with you. JO: What would Andy want?
LAINIE: Andy loved me, and he would want me to do what I want to do, which is to not go with you. Okay?
JO: Andy would want you out on your bike.
LAINIE: Shut up about Andy. You don’t know. Nobody knows what…. And I have been on my bike. I ride the country roads. It’s the only thing that keeps me half sane.
JO: Then come with me. A longer ride will make you totally sane. LAINIE: Since when has either of us been totally sane?
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Jo laughs, and Lainie smiles at the truth of what she just said.
JO: Look, Lainie, truth is, I gotta go see my mom in Placerville. She’s sick, and I’m scared to go by myself.
LAINIE: You, scared? Ha!
JO: Not scared, exactly, but like, jinxed. Ever since my accident last winter.
LAINIE: That wasn’t jinxed, that was stupid. From what I heard you were riding on ice, in fog. JO: I had to be somewhere, and my car was broke down. Look, Lainie, mom is sick, and I gotta get there, and all of my other friends are tied down with family and can’t make a long trip.
LAINIE: Great, so I’m your last choice?
JO: You were my first choice. Except I didn’t think you’d want to. LAINIE: I don’t.

JO: Yeah, okay. LAINIE: Wanna beer?
JO: No thanks, I don’t do that anymore. LAINIE: Really?
Jo gets a call on her phone. Caller I.D. shows “Richard.” She answers. JO: Hello? It’s in the cupboard to the right of the sink. Got it? Sure. Bye. Jo hangs up.
LAINIE: Who was that?
JO: Uh, mom. She forgets where her medication is. Listen, it was good seeing you, hon, and hey, I’m sorry I pressured you. I understand. I’d better go.
LAINIE: You don’t want some tea or something? JO: Nah, I should go.
LAINIE: Okay. Alright then. Seeya. JO: Seeya
They hug. Jo turns to leave. Just as her hand touches the doorknob…
LAINIE: Wait.
Jo turns around to face Lainie.
LAINIE: I…I could maybe ride part way. Just past Chicago. Get you past the traffic. JO: Oh god, thank you so much, Lainie. You won’t regret it.
LAINIE: My bike’s not in great shape. Can you maybe give it a tuneup? JO: Sure thing! I’ll come over tomorrow. 7:00AM?
LAINIE: Yeah.
JO: See ya then! LAINIE: Yeah. Thanks.

BIKER BABES WET BOOTS

CONVENIENCE STORE

Lainie and Bren pull up to a convenience store because Bren has to use the bathroom. Lainie stays on her bike, while Bren goes inside.

BREN: Hey. You got a bathroom?
STORE CLERK: Out of order.
BREN: (to herself) Yeah, right.

She goes to the back of the store and tries a door, but it’s locked.

BREN: (cont’d) Is someone in there?
STORE CLERK: It’s out of order.
BREN: Fine. I’ll just go pee in your parking lot.

Bren exits the store, waves to Lainie as she rounds the corner of the building.

BREN: (cont’d) Going out back!

She goes around back and squats to pee next to a pile of garbage. She sees two 8-year-old boys about to throw water balloons at a 6-year-old girl on her bike.

BREN (cont’d): Hey! Stop that! Don’t you throw those at her!
BOY: What’s that lady doing by the garbage?
GIRL: She’s peeing! Throw your water balloons at her!
BREN: Don’t you dare! You little brats!
GIRL: She called us brats! Get her!

The boys hurl their water balloons at Bren, missing her, but the balloons splatter along the ground, getting her boots wet.

BREN: Goddammit!

The boys run away. As Bren starts to stand up, the girl takes a squirt gun out of her little bike basket, rides by Bren and squirts her in the face.

BREN (cont’d): You little shit!

Bren wipes her face and chases the girl for a few steps, but gives up as she rounds the back corner of the building. Bren comes around the front corner of the building.

LAINIE: Ready?
BREN: Yeah.

Bren gets on her bike. Lainie notices the wet boots.

LAINIE: Oh. Yeah, I’m always worried I’m gonna do that.
BREN: What?

Lainie points to Bren’s wet boots.

BREN (cont’d): What, no, I did not pee on my boots.
LAINIE (smiling): Okay.
BREN: I didn’t.
LAINIE: I said “Okay.”
BREN: But you were smiling.
LAINIE: I’m smiling because… (smiling even bigger) it’s a beautiful day.
BREN: You think I peed on my boots. I didn’t. There were some kids, they–.
LAINIE: Kids peed on your boots?
BREN: No! They had water balloons. And then–

The girl rides by on her bike and waves at them, smiling. Bren flips her the bird.
BREN (cont’d): Then she squirts me in the face.
LAINIE: Sure, that all makes sense.
BREN: Look, my hair is wet. See?

Lainie fingers her own hair, wet and sweaty from the helmet.

LAINIE: Wet hair. Yeah, that proves it.
BREN: Smart-ass!

Bren revs her bike and tears off. Lainie savors a chuckle, then follows after her.